Whenever I used to tell people that I lived in Italy, the response was almost inevitable. “Oh, that’s always been my dream!” they’d say. Then they’d go off on how they’d love to quit their job and move to Tuscany. But no one who said this ever did. Because, you see, leaving your home is not easy, even if the reward is life under the … Continue reading Fallacies on Immigration

As if the early snow and cold snap and leftover turkey sandwiches weren’t enough, now it’s the Christmas catalogs clogging my mailbox, announcing more holidays just around the corner. As a child, catalogs were one of the season’s many treats. But the glossy paper delights had a bittersweet, guilty tone not shared by ordinary seasonal delights such as eggnog or carols. My frugal parents disdained … Continue reading The Greening of Catalogue Culture

More than a year ago, I moved to rural New Hampshire from Milan, where I had lived for 30 years. Making the move represented a major life change that many urged me to decide on slowly. “Try it out for a few months,” they said. “Try going back and forth before making the final decision.” This approach seemed to me like the weaselly way to … Continue reading Going “Home” Again

My father’s first job after his World War II service was as a medical officer on a Navy vessel in the Pacific. He was the venereal disease inspector for the Great Lakes Naval District in Chicago. As far as male sexuality goes, he’d seen it all. And he shared this knowledge with me and my sister. He loved to repeat a line he said originated … Continue reading Thoughts on the Red Red Cape

The other day, after speaking at a conference and going out for dinner, I happened to pass a noisy and friendly family in the lobby of my hotel. They had heard my speech and invited me to join them for “a beer.” This was an understatement if there ever was one, since they were ensconced among several coolers and cargo-sized bags of popcorn and chips. … Continue reading Meals with Infants

One of the delights of director John M. Chu’s comedy “Crazy Rich Asians” is hearing the reasons viewers worldwide are finding the film important or fun. Gleeful American-born Asians celebrate Hollywood attention. Real-life crazy rich Asians apparently thrill to identifying familiar places or people they think they know. Many viewers are excited about new, non-white male heartthrobs who are not Idris Elba. Is it time … Continue reading Crazy Rich Culture

Everyone knows that learning a foreign language exposes you to another culture. New words open doors to new ideas and things. But sometimes, it works the other way around. New ideas and things call for foreign words to step in when there is no good native equivalent. When coffee still came from the office vending machine, no one needed a word to describe the person … Continue reading A Jester’s Glossary

It’s commencement speech season. I have never been under the illusion that any educational institution would ever ask me to give America’s answer to the papal benediction. Yet over the years I have saved up advice, just in case I might be summoned. This may be the moment. It turns out that Brown University, where my daughter will graduate in a few days, has the … Continue reading Puritans Like Me

Though I returned to the United States last summer after 30 years of living in Italy, daily events still have me comparing the two countries. You would think that three decades of back and forth would have exhausted such tendencies. Strangely, though, my return to New Hampshire (rather than my time spent as a Milan expatriate) has accentuated certain differences. During a recent grocery-shopping trip … Continue reading Pilgrims, Pioneers, and Italians

I recently saw “The Opera House,” a delightful documentary by Susan Froemke about the Metropolitan Opera’s 1966 move from its beloved and ramshackle home in New York’s theater district to its current location in the purpose-built, utopian “cultural center” of Lincoln Center. Intentionally or not — Froemke probably began the project before the 2016 election — an arcane, high-culture topic quietly exposes telling contrasts between … Continue reading A Sense of Public Decorum